I had to explain to my Employment Case Manager today that I can’t apply for jobs the same day I find them on Seek I have to save them, wait at least 48 hours, then re-read the job description and decide if I should apply for it.

It’s what my Psychiatric medical team call “The 3 Day Rule” and it’s designed to break the cycle of never ending chaos my lack of impulse control creates in my life.

The rule is simple – I can’t just impulsively buy things, book things or apply for things. I must save the information and then in 3 days review it.  If I still want to buy, book or apply for it then I can do so. The 3 day wait in theory gives me time to think about the consequences of my actions and hopefully stops me doing stupid things like applying for a job in Zanzibar despite the fact I don’t speak, read or write Swahili & I’m  entirely sure where Zanzibar actually is.

I’m not sure if it’s just me, an ADHD thing or Autisum Trait but I have zero ability to feel fear, limited impulse control and a total lack of ability to rationally see the probable consequences of my immediate actions.

For example

Age 5 – assisting my big sis to set up the church altar and notice candle stick  has wax near base that needs removing. Pick candle stick up with lit candle in it & turn it upside down to get better angle to remove wax – and set the altar on fire.

Age 6 – helping dad kill ant nests. He told me to tip a small amount of petrol into the main nest while he went to get matches.  I used the entire can of petrol and filled every hole I could find. Dad dropped lit match into main colony and fire erupted all over the back yard – it took a long time to regrow the grass.

Age 9 – decided to ride my bike down Somerset Drive (Buderim) a road that ends at a busy T intersection & has a 45 degree slope. Miraculously I only got a skinned knee & sprained wrist.  3 days later a kid got broken ribs, broken arm, cracked skull etc doing the same thing & that weekend I wanted to skateboard down it (friends stopped me)

Age 10 my campaign of terror to get rid of the remedial education teacher worked. It also got me sent for psychological evaluation because I was “an un-teachable delinquent of possible low IQ”.  After the 4th time I was sent back for assessment because the Dept of Education refused to believe I had a genius level IQ but was dyslectic the report stated “the student is not un-teachable or of low IQ perhaps your staff need skills evaluation to test their ability to teach” at which point I got permanently band from any form of educational assistance in Queensland. Had it not been for my mum & an awesome teacher at my new school I possibly never would have learnt to read.

Age 14 decided to bleach my hair and forgot to rinse it out before swim training.  My hair ended up very odd colours & bits of it melted so it got cut really short.

Age 17 bored out of my mind at the Christmas dinner feast I decided to see if you could burn the cellophane wrapper from a Streets Quality Chocolate, so I flattened it out and stuck one end in the candle flame.  Turns out it burns really well and very fast so when it hit my fingers I dropped the still burning wrapper into the pile of wrappers in front of me and you guessed it set fire to the table cloth.  Unfortunately this was not the first time I had set fire to the dinning room table cloth from sticking things in candle flames to see what would happen but it was the last time I remember every having candles lit at any meal.

Age 22 applied & was accepted to university. Forgot about it till a week before lectures started at which point I had to quite my job without the required 4 weeks notice, apply for emergency residential placement & move 6 hours away.

Age 28 now working for Dept of Defence and getting a good steady wage I did the very adult thing of applying for a credit card and to my surprise got one.  8 months later I was $10, 000 in debit and had maxed out the card.  I had to enter into an agreement with my bank to pay off the debit with a personal load and cancel all credit cards.  I still do not own a credit card as I now know me & credit bad mix.  Anyway 2 years and 6 months later I got a call from the bank to ask me to stop paying my loan repayments because I had overpaid by $1000 and they now had to pay me that money back, which turned out to be harder to do than getting the loan to start with.  Somehow I did not learn that “loan” means eventually you will have paid off the debit and are no longer required to keep paying and overpaid my car loan by $1000 as well.

Age 31 when told by high ranking Army General “that information is strictly need to know”. I responded with “well duh if I didn’t need to know the information I wouldn’t have requested it” with a room full of witnesses to hear me. My clue I’d stuffed up the whole room stopped breathing it was dead silent  – not unfortunately my first or last career limiting statement.

Age 38 accepted a FIFO contract without bothering to ask any questions like “what’s my pay”, “how many days per shift” or “do you currently have a document control system in place”.  I’d actually been on site for over a week before they realised I hadn’t even signed a contract. I applied for the job on Monday, had induction on the Wednesday & flew out to the work site on the Friday.  The next two years was hell but as it turned out it paid well.

Age 40 walk into travel agent with dates I wanted to be places in the USA. 1 week later she sent through a quote so I skimmed over it, signed & paid. A week before I left I remembered to call & ask if I needed a visa. Apparently yes & that info was in my quote, which I never fully read. Thankfully back in 2014 USA Visa was an online application, which thanks to my Defence Security Clearance I was granted immediately.

Age 42 while recovering from my mental breakdown I enrolled in my Diploma of Specialised Makeup Artistry because I wanted to know how to do my own makeup and it looked fun. Probably not a stressload someone attempting to stay out of the Psychiatric ward of the hospital should have undertaken & it was shit loads harder than I thought it would be. I did however graduate despite more than one meltdown in class.

Ask my family and friends and there would be other responses, like collecting tattoos despite my haemophilia, driving through red lights because the turn arrow went green but the main light was red or randomly turning up in Singapore unannounced to visit family (I really thought I told her I was coming *ops*)